The day that I cried over fake cheese

It all started with a sneezy nose. The sneezy nose gave way to the coughing throat. The coughing throat brought on the lack of sleep. All of these things together = a day off from work, my friends. I needed to nip this cold in the bud before it took a bit out of me and my grape.

So I called in, drank a massive amount of fluid and went back to bed.

Fast forward a few hours and it was time for lunch. My husband came home and wanted to know what I wanted to eat. This is a difficult question for me these days but I decided that bean burritos sounded tasty. I threw together some refried beans and rolled them up in a tortilla with salsa and Daiya cheddar shreds (that's fancy vegan talk for fake cheese). Normally, this is the ultimate comfort food for me. It's warm, simple to make, and just what I need when I'm feeling a little under the weather. As the beans started warming on the stove and the smells of said beans started wafting through the air I started to feel a little funny. Suddenly, beans didn't sound as good as they did before. I shrugged it off, made a burrito for each of us and sat down at the table to eat. K started eating his but I just sat there and looked at my burrito. It looked fine. It seemed fine.

It made. me. wanna. barf.

I decided to pick up the burrito and give it a chance. I set it back down. This went on for a minute or so before Kris noticed my burrito indecision. He encouraged me to eat it and said that it tasted fine but I couldn't do it. No way, Jose.

After psyching myself up for a while longer I decided to try a bite. Get over my beany fears. Eat the dang burrito that I cooked even though I felt awful. So, I picked it up. Gagged a little. Took one bite. Chewed. Swallowed. Chased it with an entire glass of water.

I wanted to like the burrito. Really and truly I did! But for some gosh awful reason I just couldn't do it. I went and laid down on the couch leaving a very confused husband at the table.

You see, the day before he had brought me a sandwich to work. I requested ham (the vegan lunchmeat version that I've been craving lately) and cheese with honey mustard on toast. The cheese was a vegan kind we had not tried before and I was anxious to see how it tasted. It comes in a block that you slice yourself and my poor, sweet husband had a hard time slicing it. It was very thick on one side and paper thin on the other. My first bite of the sandwich was (unknowingly) on the thick side and it was terrible. Very velveeta-y and just plain wrong. I gagged, threw the cheese out and ate the rest of the sandwich but couldn't remove that terrible taste and smell from my memory.

So it's Wednesday and I'm lying on the couch thinking about that terrible cheese and how my burrito wasn't any good. Sweet guy that he is, my husband came over and put his arm around me to see what was wrong. Our exchange went something like this:

K- "You okay"
Me- "Noooooo!"
"Why can't you eat your lunch?"
"Because it's gross and I don't know why else."
"But you said that what you really wanted was a bean burrito."
"I know but it's nasty. I can't eat it."
"Well then what do you want to eat?"
"I want REAL cheese!!" (beginning to sniffle here)
"Okay then eat some real cheese"
"I can't! I'm a vegan."
"That's okay. It'll be fine."
(Boohooing now) "I want real cheese! I don't want to be a vegan! Why am I a vegan? I can't do it! I'm hungry for pizza."

I cried into my couch like the hormonal, semi-vegan, baby that I am. It was horrific and I hate to admit it, but this went on for quite a while. K drove me to a local burger placed and picked me up a vegan burger...with REAL pepper jack cheese. It was one of the best things I've ever eaten. Seriously.

I am so embarrassed about the entire cheese meltdown debacle, but putting it all over the internet sure seems like a great solution! I'll laugh at myself and let other people laugh with me!

....Right?

.............Right?

Marriage Is...

When K and I got engaged we were on Cloud 9. I had been rather, ummm, grumpy about waiting for the event to take place and I couldn't have been more thrilled to finally have that official tie to my sweet guy. Of course, because he proposed in front of scads of people we received tons of advice mere minutes after the ring hit the finger. Some funny, some sweet, some serious, some interesting and all given by well meaning people. The advice that we heard the most often was "Don't get discouraged! If you can make it through the first year you can make it through anything." I seriously cannot tell you how many times we heard that piece of advice given. We heard it phrased every way imaginable but the sentiment was the same throughout : The first year is going to be really rough but if you make it through unscathed you can make it work forever.

Honestly, I was a terrified wreck for the first few months of our marriage. I was constantly on edge, waiting for the big fight to happen. I just knew that eventually, just like everybody said it would, life was going to take a terrible turn. He was going to do something or say something that would bring out the crazy in me and we'd start yelling and fighting until the neighbors had to call the police. Maybe not something that dramatic, but you get the idea. I was prepared for a year of turmoil. 

Finally, it hit me. 

I like marriage. He likes marriage. We couldn't be happier.

The last year has been the best year of my life. You're never going to hear me get all sappy about how much I miss college life or how tough it is to be poor seminary students. The truth is that even though I do miss my college friends and it IS tough being "poor" I would not trade where we are now for any. stinking. thing. We are blessed beyond measure to have each other and gosh darnit I refuse to take it all for granted. 

We have encountered rough patches.

We made it through.

Together.

We have laughed and cried and lived and loved.

We've been mad at each other.

We've gotten over it. 

So what I'm trying to say is this:

That crappy year that I expected? We've left every shadow of it in the dust. I'm not trying to be cocky or say that we're not going to encounter seasons that are trying and that test our marriage to it's very limits. I'm just saying that every moment is precious and I'm down-on-my-face-before-the-Lord thankful that this year has been a beautiful blessing shared with my awesome husband.

The end.

What We Eat: Part 2

The second installment of What We Eat is here! That's right, I'm about to bore you all with more information about our eating habits! Woooohoooo! I'm officially in my 5th week of SayMmm.com usage and I'm still loving it. It made planning meals to take for our trip this weekend much easier. I'm cooking big portions of our normal food for the next couple of days so that we can eat on leftovers while we're gone. I chose things that are good cold or reheat well since we won't have an oven or stove in the cabin. Isn't it surprising how much good a little planning can do??

So, here we go again! Weeks 3 and 4 of our May meals....

Monday, May 16th
Stirfry from Aldi
This is one of my go-to meals for busy weeknights. We buy a big bag of frozen stirfry vegetables and serve it over quinoa or brown rice and we each choose our own sauce. The bag is so big that we eat leftovers for lunch for days...it's a hearty, healthy, super easy and quick meal that we love!

Tuesday, May 17th
Samosa Wraps by Fat Free Vegan
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2009/06/es-samosa-wraps.html
I've made these once before and we both really liked them. We serve the samosa filling in whole wheat Ezekiel 4:9 wraps which definitely makes the healthy score for this meal go way up. And, another plus, this is another meal that makes great leftovers.

Thursday, May 19th
Honestly, I can't remember! I know that I moved the meal I had planned for this night to Friday, and Friday's meal to Saturday but I have no idea what we ate. Oh well!

Friday, May 20th
Tofu Ricotta Gnocchi by Peas and Thank You
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000640&prev_term=gnocchi
I had never had Gnocchi before this meal, much less made it from scratch. Honestly, this is the only recipe from this blog that I haven't been crazy about. I definitely don't blame it on the recipe, it just simply wasn't for us.

Saturday, May 21st
Philly “Cheese” Sandwich on Soft Pretzel Subs by Peas and Thank You

http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000554&prev_term=philly
Good. Heavens. Seriously people, do yourself a favor and make this. Please. This is a Philly Cheese Steak imitation recipe and it was incredible. The recipe includes marinating portabello mushrooms, onions and bell pepper then sauteeing them. The vegetables are then served on homemade pretzel subs with vegan mozzarella. I can't sing the praises of this recipe enough. I think it's one of the best meals I've ever made and K totally agrees with me!

Monday, May 23rd
Chili Mac by Fat Free Vegan
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2008/08/chili-mac.html
Simple, lovely comfort food with a twist. I love the simplicity of a one-pot meal! It could easily be a main course (if you're into that kind of thing) because of the nutritional profile, but would make a good side dish, too.

Tuesday, May 24th
Thai Beefless Stirfry by Peas and Thank You
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000642&prev_term=stirfry
Another stirfry? Yes. It's one of our favorite things! I ommited the "Beefless Tips" because I don't like using processed meat substitutes very often. This involves a homemade sauce that made the whole meal scrumptious!

Thursday, May 25th
Souper Salad!
We had a coupon that made our total less than $10! We went with friends and had a great time!

Friday, May 26th
Spiral Diner
We very rarely eat out two nights in a row but this was a date so it doesn't count :-) We went to our favorite restaurant in town before going to the opera. This is the only restaurant that we go to where we can choose anything on the menu...it's awesome! I got a Portabello Cowboy Burger (Grilled portabello mushroom cap with bbq sauce, mustard, onions, pickle, and lettuce on a whole wheat bun) with pasta salad as a side. K got the Chopped BBQ sandwich (vegan, of course. I think the meat substitute here was tofu but don't quote me on that...) with pasta salad. For dessert K got a peanut butter chocolate shake and I got a banana split. It was amazing!! I've been wanting one everyday since then....but alas. Spiral Diner is a once a month treat for us and we really enjoy it when we go!

What We Eat

Since making the decision to go veg over 2 years ago I have received many, many interesting looks and comments from family, friends, and curious fast food order-takers. The most common question I get, by far, is "What do you eat?!" This is usually spoken with a tone of surprise or condescension and always with a look of incredulity.

A few weeks ago I started using an online menu planner called http://www.saymmm.com/. It has been a wonderful way to keep our meals more scheduled, try new recipes that I've been meaning to make forever, and keep our grocery bill lower. Most of these recipes come from my favorite vegan bloggers so in this here blog post I'm going to post links to every dinner I've made for the last month. Yes, seriously. Today I'll post the first 2 weeks of May and later I'll post the last two weeks. I figured it would be a fun way to prove that we eat a very balanced veg diet without binging daily on nothing but canned spinach and peas. Let me point out, first, that I rarely cook on Sundays and Wednesdays because I leave home after breakfast and don't come back until after 9pm. On these days we eat leftovers or out at restaurants.
If you think this is the stupidest blog post ever, feel free to click that big red "x" now....

So, without any further adieu, this is my presentation of what we eat!

Monday, May 2nd.
A recipe of my own making. It's called Perfect Pizza and I'll blog about it one day :-)

Tuesday, May 3rd
"Cheese" Stuffed Bean Burgers by Peas and Thank You
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000559&prev_term=bean%20burgers
This is a great vegan blogger who writes recipes that we always enjoy. These burgers were incredible and passed the husband test!

Thursday May 5th
Chipotle Lime Tempeh Tacos by Peas and Thank You
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000620&prev_term=tempeh%20tacos
YUM-O! We had these with my homemade salsa and they were super yummy. This was my first time working with tempeh, a popular all-natural meat substitute.

Friday, May 6th
Lasagna and Chocolate Cherry Pudding Cake by Fat Free Vegan
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2006/03/my-favorite-lasagna.html
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2009/02/chocolate-covered-cherry-pudding-cake.html
This vegan lasagna was, no contest, the best lasagna either of us has ever had. Make it today and I'll come over and share it with you. :-)
The cake was incredible as well. It's a recipe for 4 individual lava cakes baked in ramekins. I used strawberry instead of cherry and these were still to die for.

Monday, May 9th
Roasted Chickpea Tacos
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000621&prev_term=roasted%20chickpea
We love chickpeas! They have a meatier texture than most beans so I think that these tacos are definitely omnivore friendly, as well.

Tuesday, May 10th
Lasagna Leftovers...because I was too tired to cook.

Thursday, May 12th
We ate out! Believe me, I needed a break. We used a Restaurant.com gift certificate to eat out at an Indian restaurant and it was the best meal I've had in ages. I could go on and on but I'll save you the bore...

Friday, May 13th
Broiled Sesame Orange Tofu by Peas and Thank You
http://peasandthankyou.com/recipage/?recipe_id=6000644&prev_term=broiled
Talk down on tofu all you want, but this was really good. Tofu is great when it's cooked right and we ate this over steamed Jasmine rice. It was simple and tasty.

Click on some of these links and let me know what you think. We loved every bite and I'd be tickled pink if you gave one of these meals a try!

Happy Birthday, Gershwin!

Today my very sweet and precious puppy turns 1! Call me crazy if you will, but I had to blog about it. Gershwin is so special to us! Our plan for the day was to take him and Lennon to the dog park after work but we've been rained out. We'll just have to settle for couch fetch and lots of cuddles at home. Anyways, now on to the good stuff!

This fluffy bear cub of a puppy was a 1 month "anniversary" gift from my husband.

This handsome face is him today.

He's fluffy and sweet.

He loves to sniff my face.

He runs far away from rolling laundry hampers.

He's the most perfect shade of brown.

He loves his little brother, Lennon.

He runs faster than anything I've ever seen.

He's my protector when I'm home alone.

He's our first "baby" and today he's one.

Happy Birthday, Gershwin!

The Art of Comparison

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps."
     Proverbs 16:9

Something that I have been struggling with lately is falling into the habit of comparing myself to others. It's something that I've observed many women struggling with. It seems as though we could always be thinner, keep the house cleaner, do our jobs better, or spend more daily time with the Lord. The trouble with comparison is that it starts as a small inkling and grows into the green monster of envy. I've been struck lately with how much I'm letting this bring me down and am making steps toward finding the root of the problem and praying that God would fill my mind with other things.

In high school I struggled most with comparing my physical appearance to that of others. Let's face it, most high school girls do! It didn't matter that I was, at times, really too thin for my own good. I was taller, bigger boned and clumsy. Constantly wishing to change my appearance, I couldn't help but feel inadequate. In college I gained weight, but did a much better job at embracing my appearance. Looking back I believe that my closer relationship with God helped me to realize that health mattered more than appearance and I was released from that constant nagging desire to be physically perfect. However, that doesn't mean that the comparing went away.

Being a performance major is exactly what it sounds like...you do lots and lots of performing! During my freshman year I absolutely couldn't get over how amazing the seniors were. Before I knew it I had found a new thing to agonize over: performance perfection. How can I sound like that? Make that expression? Command the stage that way? How can I achieve that goal? Never satisfied with my own performances and always wishing I was as good as so-and-so, I missed out on learning some big lessons. Some days I fared better than others, but mostly I believed that I couldn't be as good as others. What a mighty waste of time!

Now, more than ever, I find my self caught up in what I'm realizing is the art of comparison. A place where so many things I do seem lacking in one way or another. It's a trap that Satan snares so many of us in and certainly a place that I'm tired of being. My biggest comparison weaknesses are that my house is never clean enough, my work is never thorough enough, my walk with God isn't strong enough, and that as a woman of God I'll never be good enough. What's most alarming with this game is that when you let sin take hold and you start doubting and comparing in one area of your life the floodgates open and all of your insecurities are laid out for Satan to have a hay-day with. It's sick and I know I'm one of way too many women who are struggling with it. It's easy to look at another woman's clean house, amazing work ethic, or spiritual fervor and wish that you had everything as good as she does. What I've been realizing is that we all have our struggles whether private or personal. So a clean house doesn't mean that "she" has it all together and spiritual fervor doesn't always create a picture perfect life either. Everyone has shortcomings.

I feel blessed beyond measure to have a husband that God has equipped with immense patience and understanding. He encourages me when I get caught up in all of this and lets me know that my worries aren't built on the truth; they're built on my insecurities.

I'm not writing on this topic because I'm trying to throw a pity party, but rather to come out and say that this is something that I'm working to tackle in my life. The following are some scriptures that I'm working on memorizing so that they'll be at the ready when I get down.

Proverbs 16:9 (from the top of this post)
To some, this may seem like a stretch but for me it makes perfect sense. Oftentimes, my comparisons are based on where I want my life to be instead of where God is leading me. This verse reminds me that my life is in God's hands and that his plan for K and I is better than my silly desires and tendencies.

2 Peter 1: 3-9
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

This is a passage that I'll be working on rather slowly as far as memorization goes...but it's a beautiful reminder. I have been cleansed from my sins by the Lord Jesus Christ! Verses 5-8 especially remind me that my efforts should be focused solely on the things that really matter. Should I strive to keep my little home clean as a service to my husband and our marriage? Yes! Should I work hard at my job? Yes! Should I be ever striving after a stronger relationship with the Lord? Absolutely! Should I compare my efforts to others and cheat myself of satisfaction in my spiritual life? NO! This isn't to say that I shouldn't be constantly challenging myself, just that I can't get caught up in someone else's race.
Exodus 20:17
17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

I'm not really coveting those things in the middle but the house and the "anything else" make sure that this verse covers it all. Do. Not. Covet. The tenth commandment makes it clear.

Whether or not you are struggling with the same things I am, I pray that you find peace and contentment today. I can't say enough about how great the God we serve is and as I walk this journey with Him I pray for these struggles to be cast out "in the light of His glory and grace."

True Stories

I would love to write a long post filled with pictures about our lives right now....but I just can't do it.
Maybe one day!

So, in the meantime here are some funny little things that have been done/said in our house lately and other random tidbits about our lives...


At Lennon's first trip to the dog park we discovered that Mr. Brave certainly has his scaredy-cat moments!

"Have you worked on your paper?"
"No...but I will tonight, I promise!"
....the next morning....
"Did you work on your paper last night?"
"Well, ya see what happened was....."

I came to work this morning in my house shoes. Unintentionally.

K is gone for 5 days/4 nights for a revival week in our college town. I miss him. It is sad.

Gershwin has taken up the habit of lounging on our bed in the mornings while pawing at Lennon on the floor. Lennon isn't allowed on the bed (Gershwin really shouldn't be either...) and I can just hear the jeering from Gershwin!

I cooked a ginormous pot of potato soup on Sunday. Today the temperature high is 101 and soup leftovers sound awful. Terrible timing.

I get more excited about low grocery bills these days than almost anything else.

And the stupidest thing to come out of my mouth since K has been gone....
"Lennon! Drop the panties! Drop 'em!"

I've been reading a lot lately on my Kindle. Right now I'm reading The Apothecaries Daughter. I like it!

Kris's semester ends in just 3 more weeks. Then, bring on the summer classes!!