A Day of Remembering

It had been a really busy week. Like, the kind of week that should go down in history as the busiest week ever. Thanksgiving was over so christmas preparations were underway. On Sunday we had our normal busy day at church and a rehearsal for our Christmas musical. I was keeping another baby full time during the week and that night found out that a friend had an opening in her in home daycare. This was a true godsend! I knew I was at the end of the road with keeping another baby because I was nearing the end of my first trimester and wanted more time to soak up my last few months as mama to one baby. So, by a sweet miracle, it worked out for baby Melanie to start in my friend's care the beginning of the following week instead of at the beginning of January like I originally thought. Monday night we had our children's choir performance at a local nursing home. Tuesday night we had our private studio Chrismas recital. Wednesday night we had church and musical rehearsal. Thursday was my last day with Melanie and that night we went out to dinner to celebrate the end of a very long week before my 12 week OB appointment the next morning. I'll never forget that evening. It was beautiful outside and everything seemed perfect. 

The next morning we were laying in bed talking and praying together that we would have good news at my appointment. Those were such perfect moments. Just peace and sweetness. Then Kris's phone rang but he didn't pick it up. Then my phone starts to ring and it seemed odd so we checked it and saw that Kris's mom, Valerie, was calling. It was 7am and that seemed rather strange so Kris stepped outside to take the call and not wake Harrison. He came back in several minutes later and I remember laying there just knowing that something was wrong. He walked in and he told me what the only thing we knew. Cameron was pulled over and, for a reason unknown to us, was shot by the officer and killed. 

Heart stopped. Life forever changed. We just sat there and cried. What else can you do? 

I've written a little about what happened next. I dragged myself to my appointment and saw a healthy baby growing after my second miscarriage. Family, friends, church family, and complete strangers rallied around all of us with love, prayer, financial help, a plane ticket for me, and countless other expressions of kindness. Love in the face of pain and grief. Thank you all. 

But today is just a day of remembering. A day to grieve the loss of someone so special that it's hard to put words to the impact he had and life he lived in such a short time. A day to look around and be thankful for we have but still be entitled to to feeling hurt and angry for what we're missing. 

So we're spending it together. Kris, his brothers, parents, Harrison, Lincoln, and I all piled in a cabin and living little adventures in a place that Cameron loved and adventured in. 

We appreciate your prayers, as ever, and I hope that you can find a moment to remember Cameron today.